Emotional Intelligence or Emotional IQ are terms used to describe people that appear to operate on a higher perception of human behaviour than others. They aren’t necessarily better academic achievers or more intelligent. They merely seem to more easily perceive and analyze behaviour in both themselves and other people better than most. They use this power to influence their attitudes and actions. A natural knock on effect is emotionally intelligent people manage relationships better.
In traditional storytelling, emotional intelligence has been equated with age and wisdom. It is more prevalent in sages, elders, esteemed religious and political leaders and holders of high posts in civilized societies.
Here are some of the traits of emotionally intelligent people:
1) EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
They can identify and discriminate between specific emotions in both themselves and others. They appreciate nuance and understand that people interpret and express emotions differently. Furthermore, they appreciate that people can simultaneously display several emotions.
2) SOCIAL AWARENESS
They can objectively observe and process what motivates people and why they behave similarly to a given stimulus. They have a sense of social appropriateness and understand social structures and communities in shaping people’s attitudes.
They know exactly what they feel and say exactly what they mean. This doesn’t mean they are tactless or hurtful, they don’t allow any room for misinterpretation. They have a sense of self control and speak up when they should and keep quiet.
They set firm and consistent boundaries in their relationships and don’t allow others to cross them. When others do, emotionally intelligent people express this and disconnect from the person. They refuse to buy into other people’s drama and won’t participate in unnecessary or facile arguments. They are well equipped to deal with toxic people displaying irrational, narcissistic, aggressive, intimidating or other inappropriate behaviour.
They understand the tonality and nuance of speech such as sarcasm, facetiousness, flippancy, jokes and figures of speech. They are more interested in the subtext of what is being said than the actual words themselves.
They are even tempered and don’t easily get rattled, angry, manic, hysterical, depressed or other extreme forms of emotions. They rarely display extreme emotional outbursts. They detach and forgive misdeeds and don’t hold grudges even when they should. They take calculated risks and try new things even if they backfire. They don’t dwell on excessive negativity and take responsibility for their happiness and destiny. They are more present and don’t worry excessively about things out of their control.
They are better equipped to reason with difficult people no matter how abusive or irrational they get. They can emotionally disconnect from a toxic situation and and don’t take them personally (unless they are to blame). They know how to rationalize their emotional energy and stop wasting on on people who don’t deserve it.
They make the best managers and entrepreneurs. They aren’t easily distracted from their goals unless it pertains to their line of enquiry. However, they allow themselves the thrill of wonderment to enhance their creativity.
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